KNE Clips –

• A woman in West Virginia came home on Tuesday, and found a guy coming out of her house with some of her stuff . . . a tablet, a gun, and a CHAINSAW.  So . . . she CHASED him, until he fell and dropped the gun.  Then she took the chainsaw and BEAT him with it.
• A guy in Virginia named Dave Cook went to McDonald’s with his mother this week, and found a $20 bill inside his burger.
• Ryan Seacrest was Kelly Ripa’s guest host yesterday on “Live With Kelly”.  It turns out he doesn’t know what private dicks are.

Stupid News –

• A 33-year-old woman and her brother walked out on a $135 bill at a restaurant in Canada on Tuesday . . . and left the woman’s 10-year-old DAUGHTER behind.  So they got arrested nearby.